On Being "Hardcore"

& accessing latent potential via Flamin' Hot Cheetos

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I was on a call recently with a woman who often “accidentally” spits fire when she speaks. She was telling us about the transition of becoming an artist, and reflecting on the fear that often follows. She said something along the lines of - “But when you’re on the frontier, you kind of have to be hardcore.”

Hardcore.

At that moment, it occurred to me that there was a built-in mental distance between me  – an emotional writer, a sensitive soul, someone who prefers being in nature to the sounds and chaos of a “hardcore” city like New York – and those that I consider to be hardcore.

Athletes. “Serious” musicians. “Successful” bankers. The subjects of biographical documentaries that I watch with awe, while commenting on how impossibly resilient and strong they are. 

And while there is nothing inherently wrong with marveling, it is a hop-skip-and-a-jump away from pedestalizing. Creating a distance that only exists in the figments of my imagination. Believing that these people have some gene that I am missing - that they can access something I can’t. 

But what she was speaking about here was not a character trait that is bestowed upon birth. She was speaking about choice. Being it. Embodying it. Taking the vibe of “hardcore” - in whatever version that prompts for us - and putting it on like an energetic power suit. 

My takeaway from this is that in order to shorten the distance between myself and these other folks - I don’t need to be someone different. I just have to turn up the notch on who I already am. It’s the difference between a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos vs. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos XXTRA. It’s the same exact product - but one is just….more.

                 (What else would I compare myself to, if not Flamin’ Hot Cheetos?)

It’s so easy to look at someone doing a brave thing and think, wow - how do they do it? But the massive secret seems to be - they simply do it. 

It is unreasonable to believe that Rihanna, or Rafael Nadal, or (insert chosen idol here) never encounter trepidation. I believe they have felt (and likely, still feel) tremendous amounts of fear about the consequences of their bravery - the only difference is that they do it anyway. They turn on XXTRA mode. They let their belief in themselves -  in their sheer capability - outsize the force of their fear.

I think we can all do this. We can all access our own heat. We can all tap in and say - me, too. 

What I’m saying is: Yes - I can be a ~squishy feely~, XXTRA hardcore writer and artist. 

What I’m asking is: What frontier would you cross with more you?